|
Post by account_disabled on Dec 26, 2017 2:34:27 GMT -5
Hi, Anything else is not love, but needs to have another name. "Unconditional love"? What can that possibly be? Can we actually qualify love? And if we do, are we doing so accurately? Love, we know is simply love, and the idea of giving it any other name seems more like an effort for us to justify not loving some people while loving others. Her focus on perfectionism in relation to love is interesting. Perfectionism is a disorder that makes people so tied to outcomes that they have to try to control all of the processes that lead to the outcomes. In relationships, a perfectionist will try to get the other person to do things in certain ways, to talk in certain ways, to act in certain ways. And the message that the perfectionist sends is, "I'll love you as long as you do things right." In other words, "As long as I approve of all that you do, we'll be okay." Looking at life this way can keep us from getting all that we can out of our experiences here. Expecting people to be certain things and to act in certain ways keeps us from getting to know those people as they are, as opposed to how we want them to be. And if someone we love wants us to be certain ways, and rejects us if we don't live up to those expectations, then we have to realize that that person was willing to share approval, but not necessarily love. Thanks! For more details: Whiteboard Overview Video
|
|